Your 3rd Birthday

1092 days have silently gone by. One day quietly folding into the next. Time moves forward, showing no compassion. Each passing day makes the gap feel wider - not between us, but between the 'world' and you. The gap which was filled with remembrance, sympathy and your name... wrenches wider with time, as sentiments leak out, leaving a void and the ache of my heart.

However, the memory of you remains rightly with us and those close to us.

You were here but a moment but the length of your stay doesn't alter your place in our family or how much we love you. 3 earthly years.... but a breathe in eternity, a place unmarked by time and dates.
On this side of the veil, we remember your birthday and remember that is has been 3 years without you.

I imagine you as a little girl running through fields of flowers, the breeze blowing through your long hair. You are filled with love, joy, freedom and contentment. You are alive and well, whole and healed. In this, we find our peace. How could we not want this for you, despite our desires?

May the courts of heaven in which you dance, be alive with the celebration of your God-given life.
We too will celebrate.

To our girl who touched our world and who changed our lives - all without a single breath.
We love you "to eternity and back."

Happy Birthday Sweetheart
With all our love xxxxxx


(Illustration from 'Mommy Please Don't Cry' - Linda Deymaz & Laurie Snow Hein)

Glimpses of You

For Charlotte
Written April 2012 after the birth of Leah


My darling girl, my pen is not dry, my heart has not forgotten and my mind has not finished with your story. 
An earthly glimpse reveals your new little sister - you now have 2 brothers and 3 sisters - one that is by your side throughout all eternity.
You will always be our 4th born child, our second daughter, forever etched into our family regardless of your address.
For the 9 months that your sister grew, I wrestled with carrying life and the loss of you. You, my sweet baby who never cried, I miss not having life with you.
The birth of your sister, a God-given gift brought a wail from my soul - one of thankfulness and sadness, as two worlds collided - life and loss.
I see you in her. Your face, your hands... I call her Charlotte, only to abruptly remember that she is not. My mind is confused as if someone is playing a trick on me.
All my children, a gift from God, meant to be, none replacing the other, each created for God's own purpose and glory. All loved, all wanted, all eternal.
My girl, my heart will always be scarred with the loss of you and filled with love for you.
Forever your Mummy xxx

Letters to the Wounded {#2}

These words resonate deep...

Letters to the Wounded {#2}

A Special Thank You

You gave us hope to dream of the family we desired.
You instilled in us a confidence which over-rode our uncertainty.
With faith, prayer and assurance we took a step forward into the world of possibility.
Still tender from past experiences, you continuously assured and reassured us,
redirecting our sights towards a positive end.
Hope and peace were born out of your encouragement.
A five year journey - a son, a still-born baby, a miscarriage and a daughter.
A journey of great joy, loss, growth, hope, trust, faith, death and life.
Through you, God showed us His loving-kindness and care.
The laughter prescribed in your rooms in regular doses, was the best medicine.
We watched your team inject life, hope and confidence into all those under your care. 
May God continuously bless you with His wisdom and strength as you serve Him
and the countless families that He puts under your care.
We are so grateful to God for you and our family.


"The Lord bless you and keep you;
the Lord make His face shine upon you
and be gracious to you;
the Lord turn His face toward you
and give you peace." (Numbers 6:24)


For our Doctor

For This Child I Prayed

"... and the Lord hath given me my petition which I asked of Him.."

1 Samuel 1:17

Thank you Lord for entrusting this precious life to us to raise, nurture and love.
You knew of her coming. Through our loss, Your plan and will were being fulfilled.
Leah May, destined and known from the beginning of time to be born for Your own good purpose and glory.
All of our children, here and in eternity, born according to Your will and plan.
A future generation to be touched by her life. A future that You know of, and one that we cannot begin to dream or imagine. Whose lives will she touch? What gifts will we see? What will her desires be? May her crowning achievement be to know You as Saviour.
Lord, to your eternal purpose we commit this new life. May Your will be done in her and through her.
My heart gives thanks to the One who gives and takes away - blessed be Your name.

What a Gift!

Announcing with great joy,

 the safe and blessed arrival of our daughter

Leah May

born March 18 2012

4 weeks early
6lb 3oz

A sister for Mikayla, Ethan, Caleb

 (Charlotte and Abigail)

Every good and perfect gift is from above,
and comes down from the Father of lights,
 with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.
James 1:17

Half Plus One

Half plus one

Years have past

Since heaven

Became your home.

Time's moved

Akwardly...

Hastily forward,

My dragging feet

Not willing to let

Time take you away.

"Stay still!"

Tomorrow is too far away

From you.

I often turn

To look again

At a child

That looks your age.

Walking, playing

Trying new words

I wonder if heaven's

Time's the same?

To my little girl

always in my heart.

Forever grateful for the gift of you

and the difference you have made.

xxx

(First verse & chorus dedicated to our little girl)

"Who can speak and have it

happen

if the Lord has not decreed it?

Is it not from the mouth of the Most High

that both calamities and

good things come?"

Lamentataions 3:38