03 September 2010

We Dreamed of You


"As a midwife, the issue of grief and loss is always a difficult and challenging one. Caring for a dying or deceased child, or a bereaved family however, is such an honour and privilege. I did not always feel this way. As a student midwife, I felt completely unprepared and incompetent to care for these families and thus, it was suggested to me to embrace this topic and to try to overcome my aversion to it. A wise woman informed me that 'Midwifery was not all happy and beautiful. That some women went home with an empty womb and empty arms. But this too was a journey, a celebration of life'. I then wondered, 'How was death a celebration of life?' I have been a singer and pianist for many years, and so decided to attempt to understand grief and loss through lyrics and music." Devon Plumley

We Dreamed of You
Music and Lyrics by Devon Plumley

Verse 1
We were travelling down the road of life
When we learned that we would have a child
Emotions overwhelmed us,
Surprise, turned to love and joy.

Verse 2
Plans were made for your arrival,
We changed the house around to suit your needs.
We made space for your crib, soft toys, for everything,
We'd bought for you.

We wanted you.
We dream about you
Sweet child of ours
We'll pray for you.
And everyday you are in me,
I love you so much
Sweet child of ours,
We'll pray for you.

Verse 3
Then the time went by so slowly,
I felt you grow and move inside me.
Each day that you were in me,
I prayed for you.

Verse 4
Then that day arrived, I'll never forget,
When we learned that we would lose you.
I can't explain, how I felt at that time,
But I just cried.

I love you so much,
Sweet child of ours,
We pray for you.

While we were in the hospital awaiting the birth of our baby girl, the staff gave us a package to look through and inside this package was a CD. Interested, I put it into my portable CD player and listened... 
I  played it over and over again, listening to the beautiful music and to the words which told my story! I was about to have a baby who I 'wanted' and 'loved' and 'prayed for' and I too, had now 'lost' her....
The words were very hard to hear, but strangely enough they were also a blessing, because this song put my thoughts and feelings into words. I knew that this was the song that we were to play at our baby's funeral service. It reflected what our hearts wanted to say.

I have played this beautiful song only once since Charlotte's funeral, as it evokes so many memories and feelings. However, I am sure that it will bless us again in the future, when we listen to it and remember a precious little girl who deeply impacted our lives.


Noo said...

Thankyou Julie for sharing your story. I am so glad we crossed paths last week. Hope to see you tommorrow. Love Niesh

Anonymous said...

Hi Julie! Mum told me that you were writing this blog and suggested that I read it. It is a lovely tribute to Charlotte - you are doing such a beautiful job. I think of you often and I will keep praying for you all. Love Jocelyn

Devon plumley said...

Dear Julianne,
I am so sorry to read of your loss. I am however deeply touched that you have found We Dreamed of You, a song that I wrote 8 years ago so helpful during your journey of grief. I hope others too find peace in it's words. Devon Plumley

OhlsonFamily said...

Hi Sweet friend, my words have been delayed but my thoughts are always with you!! God has an amazing way of placing things we need in our hands. What a treasure and a gift this song was at the time you heard it. I hope that it will indeed bless you in the future as you remember your sweet Charlotte ... and that it envokes so many feelings, perhaps that will be another element to its blessing in the future ... that you remember her vividly as you did the day you said goodbye. Loving you.

geri said...

I heard this today at my granddaughters funeral the words are so meaningful and being Amin so true as you do both talk and pat your baby while pregnant. Beautiful

Post a Comment

Design by Small Bird Studios | All Rights Reserved