07 June 2010

Unexpected News

Monday 20th December
I now realise looking back, that our 12 week obstetric appointment was different from the others from the very beginning. I had made a few innocent comments in the days leading up to the appointment about wanting to confirm that I was actually carrying a baby, as I had barely been sick and that was very unusual for me. As soon as the baby's image came on the screen that day I was relieved to see it. The ultrasound technician asked me a few times if my dates were correct as the baby looked small. I told her that I was sure that the dates were right. She finished the scan quietly and ushered us into the doctor's office. We weren't given any pictures and I didn't even think of asking for any. We were oblivious to what was ahead. We sat in the empty office for quite some time. The midwife rushed in at one stage, took some of my records off the doctor's desk and rushed out again. Only then did I wonder only briefly, if there was a problem. Eventually my doctor came in and he asked me again if my dates were correct. He then gave us some news no expectant parent wants to hear, "There may be something wrong with the baby." What?! I felt like I had been punched in the stomach - panic immediately set in. What kind of problem could there be? We were told that not only could our baby have one of two conditions but that both these conditions were incompatible with life! The indicators for these conditions were that our baby was two weeks behind in growth and there was three times the amount of fluid that there should be on the baby's neck and my hormone levels were low. We decided to have a CVS test done  - a needle put into the placenta - and this would determine within 24 hours if our baby did indeed have one of these two conditions. We felt sick with concern. There was a chance that the results would come back negative but I couldn't shake the feeling that something was not right.


Sarah said...

I remember being ushered into "that" office and being told about our boys- most terrifying and one of the most devastating moments of my life.

It has to be the hardest thing in the world to hear that the medical professionals hold little hope for your child/ren's life/ves.

Love you- and so proud of you for getting to do this blog- you will find it so therapeutic.

much love and hugs as you journey through this enormous pain xx

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