God began to gently prepare my heart day by day for the premature birth of our baby. He was merciful, leading us through different stages so that we were not taken by surprise when the painful end did come.
One of the stages was the gradual deterioration of my health.
In early March, I was admitted to hospital with a very high blood pressure reading of 170/110. I stayed in hospital for 5 days and began taking blood pressure medication. Two weeks later I was back in and my dose was increased. Once discharged, I visited the hospital twice a week for monitoring. My blood pressure did not remain stable and my medication kept needing to be increased. It was getting to a stage where my health was at risk. I felt very unwell - I was extremely fatigued, had shortness of breath, nausea and vomiting. I found it difficult to accomplish much at all.
Trisomy 18 had effected the development of the baby's placenta which in turn effected my blood pressure and health.
Our baby's health was also declining. Each ultrasound showed that her growth rate was deteriorating. At her last ultrasound she was nearly 5 weeks behind the growth rate of a healthy baby.
Our hearts were being prepared to face the inevitable end.
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3 comments:
I never thought of it like that before Julie....looking back I can see "stages" too. Even though- in my heart I was hoping to defy the odds and proclaim the most amazing of miracles!
Praise God we got 4 more weeks with Matthew and Joshua- after basically being told at 20 weeks there was no hope and it was unlikely they'd survive even days more. Thanks for this perspective my friend xx
It is truly amazing when you can look back and see God's hand guiding us, even in the difficult times,love B (Beth)
God brings tests across our path that will expose and highlight what's really in our hearts. Julie and Grant never once hesitated in their decision to prolong the life of their child for as long as they could. Regardless of the fact that they were stripped off all hope, regardless of the grim prognosis and regardless of julies deterioration of her own health they were determined to trust God every step of the way and in every decision they made. They did not know what the future held but they knew that God held the future in His hands. They put their full trust in Him and I believe that this act faith is a testament to what is truely in their hearts.
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