I wake up... a new day. A thick fog covers my mind - everything feels surreal. I am exhausted... I haven't even got the energy to open my box of cereal.
Oh... I need to let people know about the birth of our baby...
Many people are walking in and out of my room this morning - tea ladies, midwives, social worker, chaplain, doctor... but the most important visitors are yet to come - Charlotte's brothers and sister.
Must get up and make myself presentable for the children, presentable for the memories that we are going to create, for the photos and the video.
The children arrive - expectant - looking around - Where is she?
The chaplain comes to prepare the children to meet their sister. He prepares them to meet a baby born early and a baby that is not living. He is gentle, truthful, yet inviting.
Here she comes... the midwife brings her into the room. They look inside the bassinet.
"I want to hold her," they say. Daddy gently lays our baby in their arms. They look at her and hold her quietly, taking it all in. Photos are taken. The chaplain conducts a short blessing service in our room. It is a fairly quiet and peaceful time. He prays for us.
I am now physically and emotionally depleted. The children leave for home and I am finally able to tear off that painful mask that I have been wearing all morning... what a relief...
2 comments:
A hard thing to walk through in the moment ... but what treasure now, to have the photos and the memories of your sweet time with all your kids. I'm sure it will be very meaningful especially for Mikayla and Ethan in years to come. I'm so glad to hear that there was a Chaplain who helped explain things to the kids ... taking that off your shoulders. What a blessing!!
I'm with Nay- at the time- God knows how we survived those moments....but you will be forever grateful of those memories captured. I wish I had taken more pictures- different kinds of pictures- more of ME with our boys....instead of hiding my face because I had no energy to mask the pain.
What a blessing to have had the help of the chaplain in introducing them to their baby sister.
love you xx
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